Toiletitarian

I think I might be a toiletitarian. I become very attached to certain bathroom stalls at work. So much so that it throws me off when I walk in and someone is in MY stall. Often times I get kind of mad and am not sure how to proceed. I’ve thought of all sorts of things to avoid toilet problems. “Out of Order” signs and other antics, though effective on a short term basis, do not have staying power. I have a feeling that I am the only person on the planet (or at least in my office) that notices or cares, therefore, I’d like to be the dictator of the toiletitarian office. I’ll keep it simple, during the hours that I’m here, no one is to use the stall directly next to the handicap stall on the far side of the room. As in any totalitarian society, breaking the very simple rule will have harsh consequences. Perhaps a month of not being allowed to lock the stall door will suffice. It would create the very humiliating scene of an adult sitting awkwardly on a toilet as someone attempts to use it, a co-worker nonetheless.